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CATEGORIES OF LIES

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    I’m lying here in the dark thinking of something that rings in my head over and over. Why do we tell lies? Why are we economical with the truth even when it clearly hurts us? Why do we cow out of situations and make excuses instead of dropping the bomb called truth?
I always find myself wishing there were surveillance cameras in africa as much as abroad because I don’t think anybody understands how angry I feel when someone suggests/insinuates that I am telling a lie at some point. Make no mistake about it,im not playing little mis perfect. I do tell little white lies, but not when a matter is material.
  On that note I have decided to classify lies because sometimes, we do things and get away with them without realising the gravity of their effects and how they affect others(yes I know the difference between affect and effect).I’d keep it brief and as concise as possible. Some categories may overlap others,so please pay attention.
1) Blatant lies : it’s clearly a lie. You meant/intendend/purposed to lie. It could have been pre-meditated or express. Bottom line,you chose to with hold the truth for reasons best known to you.
2) Half truths: you are aware that saying the whole truth may implicate you . So you give a misleading statement that includes some element of truth. For example, I brag to my friends:  “we were partying with wizkid last night at the club”. While it may be true that Wizkid was present at the club at the same time as me, it doesn’t necessarily mean we were partying together in the same sense as I portrayed it. Am I making sense?
3) Omission: has elements of deception. Usually in a bid to make us look good. For example, I’m narrating a story to prove that my friend is a bad person,and I tell how she goes clubbing every other day and dates multiple men at a time- and I fail to mention that I accompany her to her escapades and have fun even if I don’t indulge in her activities. 
  4) Jokes : has someone ever confirmed your fear or suspiscion about something,anything, just to end it with “I’m only joking/just kidding”? Yeah then you definitely understand this point.
5) Misrepresentation. You feel pain or hurt and you call it hunger. No dear you are an emotional eater. You eat more in distress. You are not true to yourself. If you were, you will address the circumstance instead of gaining weight unnecessarily. Somebody annoyed you and you transfer your aggression unto the next person that crosses your path and spoil their mood and possibly day. You were a coward. Had you sorted out the issue with your offender, you would not offend your victim.

    If I made any sense to you, then you will agree with me that sometimes we lie and don’t even realise it. We lie to ourselves and others and cause so much damage in the process. We lie for diverse reasons: to avoid wrath, to dodge difficult situations, to protect ourselves or others, by not saying what we mean or meaning what we say, bottom line, we lie! We just do! The sad part is one lie breeds multiple others to back up the originall lie.
   Life is good when you have nothing to hide. Say the truth and be at peace -with yourself and others. Hold your head high knowing you have done what will set you free long term. It begins with you- if you can be honest with yourself, you will extend it to others. Tell the truth people! Calll a thing a thing! (in Iyanla Vanzant’s voice). One of my favourite quotes has always been:
   TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
I love y’all. Remember the cup is alway half full! Xoxo

SMART PHONES AND STUPID PEOPLE?!

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Happy new week, Les gens!
I came across something today, it is food for thought, and I will be selfish if I don’t share this with you. If I am to spend some time on an island, and I’m asked to bring just one item with me, I won’t think twice before answering “my phone!”.    Don’t lie, because that is exactly what you’d say.
No chake (check) am now! (ibo accent). My phone has a bible, a dictionary, multiple social media, HD apps, books -in fact a library, and the list goes on. I’d like you to read the following text, ponder, and then make adjustments! Enjoy! The cup is always half full!!

    ” This is the paradox of our times.
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but we have less.
We have bigger houses, but smaller families
More conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgment
More experts, but more problems
More medicines, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often
We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life.
We have added years to life, but not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We have conquered outer space, but not inner space.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We’ve higher incomes, but lower morals.
We’ve become long on quantity but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men, and short character;
Steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare,
More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes.
It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you,
And a time when you can choose,
Either to change… or just hit, delete.”

-Dr. Bob Moorehead

WHEN YOUR FRIEND SHIP SINKS

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It is very easy to detect when someone is withdrawing the friendship they offered you. But often we are too blind to see. Most times, the problem is even not blindness it’s  D enial. We spend time making excuses for them, over analysing the details and blaming circumstances instead of telling ourselves, and sometimes them the truth.

It begins with baby steps. Just as easily as you granted them admission into your space, into your entourage, into your inner circle, into your heart, they ease themselves out when they feel like they’ve had enough of you.

 

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A lot of times it’s hard to deal with broken friendships because when the going was good, the bond gave us strength. They were a good support link. They helped you when you were down, and you took pleasure in being there for them. But what if it turns toxic?
What if you suddenly can’t predict them anymore, can’t understand their tantrums, can’t comprehend the distance they give you? Yes the void will be hurtful at first. Yes it will leave you with many unanswered questions. Yes it will break your heart and leave a sour taste in your mouth. But there is a time of letting go.

When friendship no longer lifts you up, when your friend doesn’t want to be crazy with you anymore, when endless haphazard, random gist turns to monosyllabic replies, when calls don’t get answered or returned, when how are you isn’t answered with more than just fine, when you hear about them from someone else, and I can keep this list going on for days, it’s time to say goodbye. Don’t waste your time being sullen or bitter, stop to think “what did I learn from this?” And don’t try to make them stay- their part in your story just may be over. Don’t try to make them stay. Train yourself to not speak I’ll of them just because you are hurt. Remember,

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That’s your food for thought. Until next time, remember the cup is alwaaaaaAys half full.
Happy easter peoplea

msfati

Dear Readers, you know that over the moon, swelling head, big smile feeling you have when the day you have been waiting for has finally come. That’s how I felt. It wasn’t my wedding day before you start to think of that. While in school, I had buried myself in my books. My eyes carried “large Ghana must go bags” under them from sleepless nights of studying. I spent my leisure time reading novels and taking GRE practice questions. I found it very interesting and I had a partner that liked it too so we just sat together to ask each other questions and marvel at the new words we had just learnt. That was my form of hanging out. I had my first boyfriend in my fourth year in school. I met him in the library; he was a Masters student in University of Lagos and came to do…

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anger ,they say, is one letter away from danger…

Dandy & Cray

A Professor was teaching about Proverbs 15: 1. He asked his students, ‘why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’ The students thought for a while, One said, “because we lose our calm”. “But why shout when the other person is just next to you?” asked the professor. “Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry?” The students gave some answers but none satisfied the Professor.
Finally he explained, “when two people are angry at each other, there is a distance in their hearts psychologically. To cover the distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance”. Then the Professor asked, “What happens when two people…

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This reached the core of my heart and made me think.Made me reconsider.Made me draw some conclusions.Id try to be a better daughter

Sonalism- It's different

father-n-baby

Call him FATHER or DAD or DADDY or PA or POPS or your OLD MAN… But never call him a DEVIL!!!

Recently, I read a Marathi essay on the topic “Father”… It brought tears to my eyes. I had never read something so beautiful yet so obvious before. The essay is what inspired this post.



We have always heard of “mother” being the most influential character in a person’s life but rarely do we attach an emotional importance with a father.

How often do we forget that our father is just as important in our life as our mother?

We come across countless quotes, poems, articles, odes, tributes, written for a mother. But when it comes to writing something for a father, the words always fall a little short.

While we do celebrate “Father’s day” with a lot of enthusiasm, we always envision a father being  a persona of support…

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