Archive | May 2014

CATEGORIES OF LIES

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    I’m lying here in the dark thinking of something that rings in my head over and over. Why do we tell lies? Why are we economical with the truth even when it clearly hurts us? Why do we cow out of situations and make excuses instead of dropping the bomb called truth?
I always find myself wishing there were surveillance cameras in africa as much as abroad because I don’t think anybody understands how angry I feel when someone suggests/insinuates that I am telling a lie at some point. Make no mistake about it,im not playing little mis perfect. I do tell little white lies, but not when a matter is material.
  On that note I have decided to classify lies because sometimes, we do things and get away with them without realising the gravity of their effects and how they affect others(yes I know the difference between affect and effect).I’d keep it brief and as concise as possible. Some categories may overlap others,so please pay attention.
1) Blatant lies : it’s clearly a lie. You meant/intendend/purposed to lie. It could have been pre-meditated or express. Bottom line,you chose to with hold the truth for reasons best known to you.
2) Half truths: you are aware that saying the whole truth may implicate you . So you give a misleading statement that includes some element of truth. For example, I brag to my friends:  “we were partying with wizkid last night at the club”. While it may be true that Wizkid was present at the club at the same time as me, it doesn’t necessarily mean we were partying together in the same sense as I portrayed it. Am I making sense?
3) Omission: has elements of deception. Usually in a bid to make us look good. For example, I’m narrating a story to prove that my friend is a bad person,and I tell how she goes clubbing every other day and dates multiple men at a time- and I fail to mention that I accompany her to her escapades and have fun even if I don’t indulge in her activities. 
  4) Jokes : has someone ever confirmed your fear or suspiscion about something,anything, just to end it with “I’m only joking/just kidding”? Yeah then you definitely understand this point.
5) Misrepresentation. You feel pain or hurt and you call it hunger. No dear you are an emotional eater. You eat more in distress. You are not true to yourself. If you were, you will address the circumstance instead of gaining weight unnecessarily. Somebody annoyed you and you transfer your aggression unto the next person that crosses your path and spoil their mood and possibly day. You were a coward. Had you sorted out the issue with your offender, you would not offend your victim.

    If I made any sense to you, then you will agree with me that sometimes we lie and don’t even realise it. We lie to ourselves and others and cause so much damage in the process. We lie for diverse reasons: to avoid wrath, to dodge difficult situations, to protect ourselves or others, by not saying what we mean or meaning what we say, bottom line, we lie! We just do! The sad part is one lie breeds multiple others to back up the originall lie.
   Life is good when you have nothing to hide. Say the truth and be at peace -with yourself and others. Hold your head high knowing you have done what will set you free long term. It begins with you- if you can be honest with yourself, you will extend it to others. Tell the truth people! Calll a thing a thing! (in Iyanla Vanzant’s voice). One of my favourite quotes has always been:
   TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
I love y’all. Remember the cup is alway half full! Xoxo