She said she was pregnant,you asked her who was responsible,though you know it was you only.
She couldnt register for nor attend ante-natal classes because you didnt value her health and well-being.
She started shopping for the baby at the 8th month of gestation and you thought you had even been too generous.
She was in labour, you were in town, and you didnt pace restlessly in the hospital.
Your phone rang, they said it was a bouncing baby girl and you didnt take the next flight back even though you very well could.
The very first time you carried the child,you were shamed because it touched your heart.You
had indeed brought forth a whole human being. More to that,the infant was a mirror image of you.
You didnt want to make her a wife,yet you made her a mother.
Your correspondence with other women intensified by the day and she couldnt take it. She called off the relationship.
You didnt stay awake in the middle of the night when your baby was sick.
You didnot for once make any attempt to change diapers, or help with the feeding bottle.
You told her if she wanted you to provide for YOUR child’s needs,then she had to give up custody of the kid.
The child will live with your mother while you gallivant with girls in town.She could not afford that, she said she’d raise him
solo if you wouldnt lend a hand.
You thought “good riddance! now im free!” little did you know what you had just done.
Now you wish you werent a lonely old man.You blame youthful exuberance but guess what? Its too late.
Its too late to apologise. Too late to undo the damage.No doubt,you are a father .It takes 5 minutes,a little ejaculation,and minute sperm generousity
to become one. But it takes a life time,so much selflessness, all the care you can offer, all the loving discipline you can dish out, all the support and reassurance you sometimes arent convinced about, and then so much more to be a dad.
Its the confidence you taught them, the trust they have in you, the calm peace they have and feeling of protection in your presence.Its the security they feel that “daddy is gonna handle it”, the fear of “i cant let him down, he will be disappointed” the courage your smile gives them, the strength your voice bestows, that child like belief in your ability to see them through.Yes,its all these that make you a DAD.
You failed them if you didnt part take in their lives.if you didnt calm their fears and occassionally fool them just to make them laugh.you failed them if they dont have fond memories of you. If you didnt tell them words of wisdom that stuck with them their whole life. If they are silent when others talk about their dads. If you blamed them for stuff you should have taken responsibility about. You failed them if at some point you turned your back on them.Worse still, you failed them if you sentenced them to the pit toilets and didnt give them the oportunity to see the light of day.
ON that note,i’d rather say happy DADDY’s day,not father’s day!