I am the middle child in a family of 5 chidren.Junior sister to two boys and senior to 2 girls

My name is Lara,and i am single at 33,against my wish. i graduated with a 1st class degree in  business administration from a federal University.2years down the road,i got my masters degree in human resource management from a reputable institution in the UK. While in  the UK,i applied online for a job in one of the high brow banks in Nigeria. I was immediately offered employment due to my brilliant results. I came to Nigeria well settled. A chauffeur driven Prado,a well furnished catered-to house in Lekki,an obesed salary and life insurance. Are you still in doubt?Life felt good.I was exactly where i wanted to be at that point of my life. I was obsessed with the idea of performing well in order to get me up the hierarchy of the top managers sooner than later,that i made little or no time to socialise.thank God i managed to make it to church some Sundays.

At 25, I managed to bribe my mother out of pressuring me to marry whenever she saw me in the bridal train of my friends,or when we attended a relative or family friend’s wedding.i had the money to throw around,so id buy her a gift, smile and say “mum, dont worry,id outshine them all.Just let me be settled.You know at this point,my job is so demanding.i wouldnt have time for kids and all. she’d frown and succomb”

 3years down the road came my epiphany. Timi,my 18 months’ boyfriend showed up at my office .Said he came to tell me he had had enough. He couldnt take anymore of my unavailabilty.He sited that it was 7pm and i was still at work. I often stood him up on dates, i am insensitive to his needs, and i do not value the gifts he offers me,because i feel i can get myself better stuff. Woaaah! i was oblivious of all these accusations.But for my beautiful crystal wall clock i had purchased from Dubai last september during a business trip which read 7:45 pm, i would have argued that too. Well,what have i to lose,i thought.i mingle with the high and mighty and could get me a better suitor than this little millionaire making mockery of my achievements.i am beautiful and appealing,i wouldnt dignify this young man by begging him… ” i thought you understand,Timi….” i began to stutter then i stopped almost abruptly and said “wait a minute,what happened to your phone? Did u really have to come all the way here,5 floors up to vomit this rubbish?couldnt you call me?” i snapped. He smiled as if to say good riddance and strolled out of my office without a word. i slumped in my comfortable leather chair.What had just happened? I was a hardened spinster once again.Oh my God,my mum will deafen me, i thought.


Dont be silly,of course yes,i cried him an ocean-the pacific to be precise.My good friend Anita asked me to get back into the dating-o-sphere.She made it a point of duty to drag me with her to social functions.Comedy shows, musical concerts,and all types of parties.She will come to my office at the close of day and tell me the newest restaurant,lounge or hotel in town we will be visiting for the night. Yes there were many elligible bachelors everywhere i went.Cute, rich, polished. They would throw admiring glances my way,but it seemed there was an invisible body guard around me warding them off. I didnt seem to understand .This happened for Over a year . Those who were courageous enough to come close never seemed to call back after a date.

 My wake up call came not long after that.When Bola our last born called my phone ecstatically.There was so much noise in the background.I heard her say “i said yes!!!!!” huh? Yes to what Bola,i asked,confused. “Chris proposed” she screamed and before i could return from my reverie to congratulate my favourite sibling,she had hung up in excitement. On her wedding day,i was as excited outside as i was torn apart inside. During the reception, my mum trailed me to the ladies,where she met me trying to touch up my make up,ruined by tears. She smiled a knowing smile and said “i have the answer”. I frowned.Not again,mum. She blocked me and said “listen to me for once.just  listen and dont interrupt. Look in the mirror. your watch is rolex. Your shoes are louboutin. You smell of limited edition D&G. you have 22karat jewelry on.Your handbag is customised Louis Vuitton.You car doesnt use a key. Your office is on the 5th floor and the protocol to get up there is enough to discourage anyone from visiting you. she sighed and breathed in.Just your appearance is scaring potential suitors away.You look extremely high maintainance.You seem too made and over independent that men would feel you cant listen to them,talk less of submit to them in matrimony. You dont go out and when you do,you stick to the VIP zone.There, most of the people you relate with are the self made established bigger boys ,most of whom are already settled. Lara, Lara,Lara! cut down.Tone it down,my baby girl.” Oh no,i ruined the make up even worse this time. “I have gone too far down this road to turn back now,mum. How do i start?i dont even know how to do things another way…” i sobbed. She held me close and said id be alright.

That same moment,my phone vibrated.It was a message from the my company.I had been made  manager of a branch of our bank in Amsterdam.And i was to resume office in a fortnight.Yes i hissed.This achievements,after all were the primary cause of my plight.Blessing or curse? i breathed out loud… If you were in my shoes, what will you do concerning this promotion?My name is Lara,and i am single at 33,against my wish.




  1. I wldnt slow down4any man. Just love what I’m doing&be happy&satsfied wt myself. The man4me will find me!

  2. Wow, uhm its your job and a very lonely life or the married life with your job.. Yould have the job both ways… I’d stay if I were the one but then its not easy to stop when you’ve been working so hard

    • actually, i dnt think staying guarantees a husband. worse still,going to a new environmt and starting all over isnt comforting either aside the more money….dilemma!

  3. Everything happens for a reason, I would continue to Amsterdam and start a new life. Who knows if God kept something there for me ? After all my mum said plus all the thinking I would try and create time for my personal life( which is the problem here) and be more down to earth. Nothing guarantees me that if I stay there I would find someone anyway. OR I will just be a sugar mama LMAO jk. Hmm I do not think there is a specific age for marriage anyway… It is hard but if it was me I would just try to be more realistic, work harder and create time for my private life, simpless! Quand on veut on peut. I was even in a similar situation, a guy I really liked told me I am too good for him and he is not the right person for me lol I just said to my self “when girls are bad you complain when they are good you complain what do you want at the end? ” It obviously hurt and shocked at that moment but at the end of the day I was laughing about it already.

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